I saw your life slowly drain from your body.
And what did I do?
You hid it from all of us:
I didn't know.
My sister didn't know.
Even my mom didn't know,
How awful you felt.
You couldn't even fake a smile anymore.
Sleep was the only way you knew how to escape
From the torturous thoughts inside of you.
Now I stay awake,
Wondering if there was anyway I could of helped you.
I barely sleep at night anymore because
The torturous thoughts inside keep me wide awake.
Could I have made a difference?
One more hug.
One more I love you.
One more question.
Could I have saved you from your torment?
I am told there is nothing I could of done:
No way I could of saved him.
No way to bring back the man I once knew.
No way to change what has happened.
No way to save my father from himself.
Could he really not be saved?
I will never know.
As I stare into the pitch black room with tired eyes,
I just have to wonder:
Will this question haunt me for the rest of my days?